I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
you would pick up someone in the library
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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