I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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