This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
