ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
