Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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