bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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