I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
