you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
