i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
