I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
