girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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