I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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