2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
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