my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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