Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Sorry about my life...
I can feel your judgement through the phone
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
