Whod you bang
i just wanna soil my oats bro
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
