Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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