I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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