you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize