Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
