the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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