Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
