It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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