Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
