he wants to bone in the snuggie
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
