Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
