I am full of burrito and curiosity
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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