He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
