Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
3 2 1 whiskey
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Randomize
