Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize