Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
