last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize