he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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