he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
