We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
