This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
