i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
