theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize