Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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