I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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