I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
