Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
