Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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