just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
