I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
