i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
And then he peed in my hair
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