remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
