This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i already hear my dad disowning me
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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