never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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