when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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