you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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