my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
