Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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