Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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