I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
