no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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