My brain says no but my pants say off.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
