Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
