I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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