Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
