I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
