yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
