i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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