her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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