My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize