Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
