Ambien. No doubt about it.
I think my vagina is haunted
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
