i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
