he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I miss vodka workout Fridays
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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