I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
