Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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